What is Imposter Syndrome?
We asked qualified relational psychotherapist Lucy Furniss this question and she answered:“In the psychotherapy world, Imposter Syndrome is not used as a term very much. It is not a classified diagnosis, or a recognised mental health syndrome but I come across it in discussions, particularly amongst women. I align it with traits such as people–pleasing, perfectionism, and procrastination at work.
“It would show up as a lack of worthiness, particularly around the workplace but it could be anywhere. You could feel fraudulent as parent, as a volunteer or in any role where you do notfeel good enough. It can be linked with anxiety and depression but it is not always this severe.”
Steve Mullins, one of the world’s leading Action Coaches, and a member of Bizpedia Portsmouth, contests: “Imposter Syndrome exists in every human being on this planet and is there for a large proportion of their lives. We all have our stories. My Imposter feeling was strong when, aged 22 I started my career as a coach. I would have meetings with multi-million-pound business owners and of course, they would ask ‘What is this kid going to tell me?’ It does not affect me that way now, but at different stages I still get it.
“It is like clients who brought in Action Coach because they could not break, say, the £5m mark. They are now at £30m and still feel an imposter, but about different things. It shows itself at different times in different places in people’s lives.”
Southampton Bizpedia member Alison Craig, of Alison Craig Coaching Ltd, is a highly qualified and experienced business coach. She was recently asked by a fellow member “How do you overcome imposter syndrome as a woman in a man’s world?” An interesting discussion followed around women often feeling that they lack credibility in meetings if they don’t “shout as loudly”. Alison finds that women are more likely to talk about Imposter Syndrome, to know the phrase and be willing to own up to it, which helps as they can discuss it together. In her experience it can be harder for males in certain sectors, for example construction or law, to admit to self-doubt and therefore to use the term Imposter Syndrome. “I have recently worked with a well-respected experienced male teacher, plus a male who is senior in retail, and both shared that they fear being ‘found out’ as lacking in ability. This causes them to second-guess their decisions and use up brain space, questioning what others think of them and whether they deserve to be in their role”.
How to tell if you, or someone around you, experience Imposter Syndrome
Lucy Furniss says that someone experiencing Imposter Syndrome is usually doing very wellfrom an external perspective, but feels inadequate and might:
Steve Mullins suggest looking at:
Where there is a lack of self-worth, the fear of failure can be absolutely paralysing. Even Sir Richard Branson, one of the UK’s most successful businesspeople, in a BBC documentary on Imposter Syndrome, said, “When I was younger, I was crippled with self-doubt,” and even though he has largely overcome this today, it dogged his early life.
Alison Craig suggests that “Imposter Syndrome can sometimes be a positive because it drives us to continue to build knowledge and capability. It has links with Kahler’s Behavioural Drivers. One of my drivers is ‘Be Perfect’ – of course there is no such thing as perfection but it does mean that I strive for continuous improvement. The watch out is to avoid getting carried away with it, for example, over preparing for important events or meetings.”
Lucy Furniss says, “Imposter Syndrome is all about vulnerability. When you try to hide it, you create a barrier. Your ability to be comfortable and to show your vulnerability often brings deeper connections, deeper contacts, and deeper relationships which foster business trust.”
Bizpedia Member case studies
Southampton Bizpedia member Kevin Briscoe is comfortable showing vulnerability
Kevin Briscoe, of Briscoe PR is a natural at promoting his clients, but it’s not so easy to promote himself and says, “Imposter syndrome has been a part of my journey since I started working full time in 1987. I guess it goes back into childhood and school. I am from a very working-class Lancashire family, prone to thinking that something ‘was not for the likes of us.’ I was the first in my family to go into Higher Education and just about got a couple of A levels and a 2:2 degree. As a result, my ambition to work as a news journalist was largely written off – in the 80’s, living your dreams was not widely encouraged. I had not been selected for journalism college until, suddenly, I was called up by one who had kept me in reserve in case others did not make the cut, and was offered a place. That gave me a steely determination to succeed. Someone had taken a chance on me, and put their faith in me, and I grabbed it with both hands.”
Kevin hasn’t spent too much time looking back since then, but every so often, he says he glances over his shoulder and wonders how the hell he got where he is. “A big client listens to my advice and although I am 100% confident in what I am telling them, I still think, ‘Wow, they chose us!’”
Over the years, he has had many a strong word with himself to overcome nagging doubts, and today invests in a good business coach. “Imposter Syndrome has come up in our discussions, and we have talked about identity shift as a way of overcoming it.
“Identity shift means walking the walk as a successful business owner. It means having the nice things, going to great places to eat, wearing quality clothes etc – these are things about which I might otherwise have said ‘oh no, I couldn’t buy that, it’s not for the likes of me.’ I am not conceited and I do not boast or brag, but I think doing quality things quietly, for yourself, can really help with your own mindset.”
Kevin does not observe Imposter Syndrome in very many clients, but when he does, he finds it an interesting position to be in, because he can advise them on what to do to create a successful image, despite finding it difficult to persuade himself. He says, “Some clients want to be successful in business but are not interested in telling people about it for fear of appearing boastful – even when that public knowledge could be what drives more business their way. I spend a lot of time persuading and cajoling people into doing things, taking a chance on something that could really make a difference for them.”
Alison Craig of Alison Craig Coaching Ltd understands how she reacts to different behaviour preferences
Alison Craig says, “When I understand that someone’s personality preferences are different from mine, I make sure I meet them in the middle rather than feeling on a back foot. For example, I have worked with various business founders who have built great companies, but their team find them to be uncomfortably direct and outspoken. They respected me enough to work with their senior team, but would sometimes speak to me in a way that left me feeling stupid. I realised this was my reaction, not their intention, and gave myself a specific pep talk so I could continue to confidently advise. My pep talk included reminding myself that I have more than 30 years’ practical experience underpinned by a Masters degree, and I do know what I am talking about”.
“One time, when my dad was dying and I was feeling more vulnerable than usual, a client had an outburst which left me feeling inwardly shaken. They had no idea that there was anything going on in my private life. Somehow, I literally pulled myself together – I drew up my body, tightened my core, took a moment to breathe… and responded to their behaviour with a calm open question.”
Alison says that a key strength is to recognise that you are having a moment or a period of Imposter Syndrome and do something to shift your negative self–talk back to positive.
“It takes a lot of energy to do that in the moment. In that incident, I fell back on my coaching skills, my ability to listen. I realised what was going on in my head, and remembered that turning a comment back into a question takes experience and ability. Coaching is a good skill to have and I recommend studying it to any business leader*.”
More strategies for overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Kevin Briscoe has already talked about using Identity Shift, which has proved successful for him. Is it time you treated yourself to some trappings of success to remind you that you are a winner? There are plenty of Bizpedia members to help you buy a new car, take meal out in a fancy restaurant, or buy and insure a new investment watch for example…
Here are some other strategies from our interviewees to help overcome the Syndrome yourself, or to support staff or loved ones who experience it:
What happens when a boss’s Imposter Syndrome impacts on the team?
Our specialists were united in their ideas that a growth culture must be one where people are encouraged to feel confident in themselves, which is the antithesis of Imposter Syndrome.
Steve Mullins says, ”A leader has to manage their own Imposter Syndrome first so it doesn’t stifle people. Then they can help people through it, get them to build perspective on it.
“As an example of perspective, I don’t know how to bring up a kid – every day is the first day I have ever had a kid of this age. I have six friends that I grew up with and we all now have kids and we are all asking, ‘how do we do this?’ and there are no answers, we just keep learning.
“Look at things this way. Last year, you owned the biggest business you had ever owned and now a year later that is still the biggest you have ever owned. Every day is new, a day for development. You have taken a bit of a risk, you do not know what you are doing, then it isabout how you manage and control it so it doesn’t stop you moving forwards.
Imposter Syndrome can stifle you or can it help your personal development. When something inside you is rightfully telling you, ‘I don’t know what I am doing – do I need to get more guidance and help, or do I move forward knowing I haven’t made any steps to improve it?’”
How do you create a culture where you praise effort and not outcome? Where you foster learning from mistakes? Rather than criticism, punishment, or anger? How do you hold that for yourself as the business owner too?
All our specialists offer services to support a business looking to improve its culture and it isworth talking to them, because it is important to keep your staff feeling safe and secure in theknowledge that they can try things out. That is where the magic happens. If you stifle the trying then you stifle the business.
Mistakes must be a part of a successful business; otherwise, how can you forge new paths?
It will have an impact on the staff when boss is in perfectionism, and everyone else around them feels they must be perfect too. If you put that pressure on your staff, it will probably destroy creativity and you bring a culture of fear into the organisation rather than support.
When you do not feel safe in your body and system, it blocks creativity – problem solving strategising, thinking broadly becomes very difficult.
Create an environment to foster positivity; for example, avoid. an open plan office if you constantly hear what staff are saying, and are always mentally criticising them.
It is important to recognise success and just as important to hold humility for what does notgo the way you wanted it to. We all use terms such as ‘good’, ‘bad’, ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ too flippantly because there is a lot in the scale between those things. Changing our mindsets and our language brings a different outcome which might be just as valuable or even more valuable.
If you can show vulnerability and humility with your staff, they will feel they can show vulnerability – it is not a bad thing if it doesn’t get in the way.
What to do next to improve your business by harnessing Imposter Syndrome
Start implementing one or two of the ideas in this article immediately and share your feedback with your Bizpedia Group.
Share this article with trusted members of your team, and create a plan to keep evolving a nurturing culture.
Contact a good business support service; there are a number in Bizpedia, and our experts are great examples:
Steve Mullins runs ActionCOACH Portsmouth, working with business owners with turnovers from start up to £15million+ to help them build their dream team, manage time effectively and increase profits. He is passionate about seeing results develop in the businesses he works with and uses his experience and expertise to coach, grow and develop business owners and their firms.
Steve is proud member of Buy1Give1, which means for every month he coaches a business, he pays for a child in a third world country to be educated for a year.
https://www.actioncoachportsmouth.com/
Alison Craig has more than 30 years’ personal experience of managing diverse teams and,using this and her coaching qualifications, works with top companies including John Lewis, Paris Smith LLP, Barclays and the Peter Cooper Motor Group. https://www.alisoncraigcoaching.co.uk/
*Alison runs an open programme that covers leadership styles, personality preferences and coaching skills. She normally runs it in-house but the open programme means you can benefit even if you only have one person in the team who would like to attend, and also get value from appreciating different perspectives from a range of companies. The next one will be in May and the full day is great value at £575 + VAT per head.
Kevin Briscoe helps businesses to communicate what they do, creating greater awareness of their brand and increasing the number of enquiries for their products or services which, ultimately, should lead to more sales.
He is a Chartered PR Practitioner with 30 years’ experience, having trained and worked as a journalist before working in corporate communications with Hampshire Police. Since 2006 he has been providing expert PR and communications advice and hands-on support to businesses and organisations – large, small and medium. In 2011 he was a founding director of Briscoe PR, which has offices in Fareham and Plymouth.
Lucy Furniss, although not a Bizpedia member, has kindly helped us to gain a view from a qualified psychotherapist. Lucy works in private practice with adults as well as supervisingtrainee and qualified counsellors/therapists. She works individually with clients as well as offering therapy groups, workshops and Wild Way Retreats. She works with issues including:anxiety, depression, family and relationship issues, trauma, stress and work issues, sexuality and gender identity, grief, loss and isolation, body image, low self-esteem, health anxiety, ageing, self-harm and suicidal thoughts, life changing events like retirement, redundancy and divorce, parenting or caring problems and unresolved or past conflicts.https://www.lucyfurniss.co.uk/